Can I just start out by saying that we aren't even on the waiting list for a baby yet and my relationship with God has grown SO much through this process?!?!?! I have learned to trust Him and have faith in Him more than ever! I like to plan, I like to play it safe, I like to be independent... and let me tell you, this adoption process definitely requires me to step outside of my comfort zone.
I'm not a very emotional person, I don't really cry a lot, and I have a hard time expressing my feelings. I have five siblings, four of which are younger than me, so I always tried to be the sibling that held it together during sad times in order to help comfort everyone. My brothers and sisters always knew that I would try to make them laugh during difficult times in order to ease the pain. Now I find it hard to let myself cry in front of others, or even alone for that matter. In the last couple of months there have been several times that I have just wanted to have a good cry. Thinking about our baby that isn't born yet, thinking about all of the children in Africa who need a family, thinking of all of the families in Africa who could stay together if they just had a little bit of money and access to proper medical care, thinking about the stressfulness of my life here, work, getting adoption paperwork completed, making time to get in the Word, making time to hang out with friends and family, all of the prayer requests of friends, getting ready for deer season that opens in a couple of weeks, getting ready for our adoption yard sale, and the list goes on and on... So, I prayed that God would make me more in tune with my feelings, that he would allow me to let go sometimes and let it all out, that he would let me accept that the problems in Africa are real, and that, although seemingly insignificant compared to those problems, my every day struggles are real... and need prayer... passionate prayer.
Oh boy! I don't think a full 24 hours passed before God released the flood gates. I've been averaging between 5 and 6 hours of sleep a night which sometimes just makes me cranky and irritable, but the last two weeks I think it led to me being a crazy, emotional mess. But, I can tell you it felt so good!!! I laid my problems at the feet of Jesus, my King... and He answered. I will blog about the main reason for my craziness later this week, but seeing God's hand in our adoption is such a blessing! Being able to feel so much more connected to this process and see God at work is amazing! Jason blogged about us being able to mail in our first large payment to our agency last week... six weeks ahead of schedule!!! We are having our yard sale this Saturday, August 28th, and we have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to collect everything people have so generously donated. Well, this morning at church Mrs. Kim (who has offered her yard for the sale) said she had a friend who placed her house on the market and it just sold... in 2 days... in the worst housing market in decades. So why is this important??? This family said they have a ton of stuff that they don't want to take with them because they are moving out of state, and they are donating all of it...to us... for our yard sale... for our adoption... that will take place this weekend... one week after they sold their house. And get this.... this family has two adopted children!!! Okay, so it gets better... tonight we had planned to go get all of the stuff and take it to Mrs. Kim's house, but the lady, who I have never met (I don't even know her name) didn't call when she said she would. So, we just figured she got tied up doing something and that we would go another night this week. Then Mrs. Kim called me back and said that this family already had a Uhaul truck rented and they planned to move the stuff tomorrow during the day and take it all to her house for us. They said since they already had the truck rented they didn't mind moving the yard sale stuff before they loaded the truck up with their stuff to head out of state. Wow!!! Do people like this really exist? God you are good... how can we ever deny you?!? Your timing is perfect!! We love you and praise you!!