Well, Jason stuck to his word, and after April 15th we began to talk about adopting again. We had Friday, April 16th off, so we used the long weekend to talk in detail about what we were feeling as far as the adoption was concerned. We went turkey hunting… and I absolutely loved it! I loved being in the woods for the first time since December…and loved how relaxed it made me. Sitting against a tree, watching the sun come up over a field, watching the fog lift, and listening to the day begin… what an amazing time to pray and think… it doesn’t get much better!!! After our long weekend Jason agreed to pursue adoption without having saved the money originally intended!!! Requiring us to rely on God’s provision. That is not to say that we do not intend to take responsibility for our decision and that God will simply mail us a check. More-so (I like to make up words) that thru our faith and discipline thru his Word, that God will be sovereign to see the adoption process thru if that is His will. So, welcome to our walk in FAITH!!!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Once we realized adopting from Haiti wasn’t a viable option for our family we decided to take a few months to regroup. We were asking ourselves so many questions… Was God closing the doors in the adoption process because it wasn’t His plan for our family? Should we look into adopting from a different country? Should we look into adopting domestically? Should we wait until we have biological children and have been married longer? So many questions!!!
We were in the middle of tax season, both working six days a week, and were completely overwhelmed. Jason doesn’t like to be pestered about things, especially when he is tired, so I had to be very careful not to overdue it with the adoption discussions. He told me we would start talking again about adopting after April 15th, and that we shouldn’t pursue it any further until we had saved a good chunk of money in order to cover the adoption costs. My heart sank… I knew it would take us several months to a year (which seems like F.O.R.E.V.E.R.) to save as much as he wanted to. It also takes about a year to actually adopt once you begin the process, so that would put us at a minimum of two years before we would adopt. I am continuously trying… key word “trying”… to be a submissive wife, let Jason call the shots, and trust that God will lead us as a family; so I agreed with Jason’s plan. I prayed like CRAZY that God would either change his heart, to make him long for adoption, or to change my heart to be at ease with his decisions and trust him. I did occasionally send Jason a link to a blog with a cute adoption story, email him bible versus about orphans, tell him sad statistics about third world countries, and did other not so subtle things to let him know I was still thinking about adopting.