Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Why Not Have Your Own Kids First???

I (Jason) am sure this is a question that many of you are asking, so for clarity I have decided to break down the thought processes behind our decision. PLEASE understand that this has not been an easy decision for either of us, but it is definitely what we feel is in the best interest of our family for the long run. So, why not have our own kids first?

For starters, we long greatly to have biological children and Good Lord willing that will happen for our family sometime in the not-so-distant future. For now however, that is not exactly what the Lord has placed on our hearts. It is easy to sit and dream of a day when it will be more convenient to reach out to a child in need and provide a loving forever home for that child. It is another thing all together to actually put the rubber to the road and take steps in the direction of adopting a child. Britney and I have simply decided, with a little spiritual prodding, that the time for us to adopt is now. For the logical thinkers out there I have compiled a list below of several factors that have also coaxed us in the direction of seeing this process through at this particular time in our lives.

1. Financing – As some of you may already know, international adoptions cost, on average, somewhere between $20,000 and $30,000. With both of us having steady full time jobs (Thank God!) and not having other children to provide for currently, we feel that now seems like a better time than ever to pursue an international adoption. We can save, fund raise, and run around like the crazy people we will have to be in order to complete the adoption. If we already had children, it would make these things more difficult… definitely NOT impossible, but just a little tougher with time and finances.

2. Traveling – International adoptions can require the adoptive parents to visit the country on a couple of occasions, once for a court date and again to pick up your child. This will be much easier to do while only thinking about our travel arrangements, whereas if we already had children, we would have to make plans for them as well.

3. The World’s Perspective on Adoption – So often, adoption is seen as a last resort or even a burden when instead it should be seen as an amazing opportunity!! God commands us to love and care for Widows AND Orphans, he calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves, and he commands all of this only AFTER having done just that for all of those who are in Christ!! We have all been orphans outside the mercy of the Lord God Almighty, but He adopted us through the life and death (substitutionary atonement (shout out to KW at NCCd)) of his Son Jesus Christ. Christ’s adoption of us cost Him greatly, but the reward far outweighed the sacrifice. We see the adoption of a child for our family having a similar reward. We want the world to see how our love for an adopted child, in some small way, mirrors the love that Christ has for each of us every day of our lives. While we can never love as perfectly as Christ, we sure can give it a shot.

All of that said, having biological children, we hope, is simply a matter of time. What is interesting to me, however, is how often it is assumed that everyone can get pregnant whenever they would like, which is simply not the case. We have lots of friends and family that cannot have children and we know plenty more that have more complications than we could cover in a month of blog posts. So, before you ask “why don’t you just have your “own” children?”… please think about what you are really asking. We understand this is a question on several people’s minds, and we are obviously okay with answering it, just check your intentions before asking. Currently, we have no reason to believe that we are unable to have biological children, but that chapter of our lives will have to wait a brief period until God can bring our international baby home to rest. We are all people born in the image of the One True God, and biology and genes are simply the mechanism God chose to use to bring it all together.


  1. Hi you guys, it's your uncle Mike here. I think it's greeat that you are adopting. I know everyone thinks you should have your own kids, but that means that the one you'll be adopting possibly won't have parents. I think you guys are really thinking of the world as a whole because it is a very un-selfish thing to do to adopt a child into a better world than it could possibly have where it is now. May God bless you and watch over the situation, and only have good things in store for you. Love Mike

  2. Well said J&B, both from a spiritual as well as a practical point of view. Prayin' for ya.
    James D

  3. Mike: Thanks for the support, we really appreciate it. Please keep us in your prayers.

    James: Thanks for following along, glad to get feedback!! Hope your trip to Texas is going well.

  4. WOW!! That's all i can say. That was VERY well put.
    side note.. you tell em j-dawg haha jk.